leadership

One Another

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In Scripture, there is a single Greek word that is translated into our two-word phrase, “one another.” It is allēlōn (a-lay-lone), and it is used to describe people in a relationship with each other.

Throughout Scripture, we see followers of Jesus living and working together. Many are people with nothing else in common other than the fact that they have been transformed by the love and life of Jesus. Taking a closer look at some of the “one another” commands will help us see how God wants us to live in community. Let’s look at five of these allēlōn statements. Read the Scripture listed and consider the following question and statements for each:

  • How can you practically live out the instructions given on your leadership team and in your group?
  • Take a moment to express gratitude for those who have shown you how to live this out in community.
  • Take a moment to privately confess if there is a shortfall in your life in this area.

Love one another. 

  • John 13:34 — A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
  • 1 John 4:12 — No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

Serve One Another.

  • Galatians 5:13 — You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.

Forgive one another. 

  • Ephesians 4:32— Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Honor one another.

  • Romans 12:10 — Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Pray for One Another.

  • James 5:16 — Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

First Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” Let’s be women focused on consistently building each other up — whether through simple words of encouragement, living well in our community or having hard conversations.

Consider This:

  • How can you encourage someone today?

The Work We Do

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God has called you to something. There is something that moves you, that keeps you up atnight, or that makes you jump off the couch – something that you cannot help but speak up about. You may look at the work and think you can’t possibly do it, but God promises that if you will dive in and get to work, he will make sure you have what you need.

Let’s look at some examples of people doing work they were purposed to do.

Deborah was many things: judge, counselor, mediator, leader, prophetess and song writer. She was not afraid to do the work even when it meant she had to speak honestly to people in power about things they might not like. In Judges 4, Deborah told Barak that God had work for him to do. She pushed him and got him moving, but then she stepped out and let him complete that which was his to complete. Deborah led from a place of reliance on God and people looked to her for guidance because of her faithfulness and grit. Deborah was determined.

Nehemiah was so moved by the disrepair of the wall around his home country that he found funding, support and workers to rebuild it. They faced mockery and physical threats from people who opposed the work, so much so that they had to split the workforce; half would build while half stood guard. Nehemiah 4:6 says, “The people worked with all their heart,” and they kept working until the wall was done, but even then, Nehemiah kept working. Nehemiah 5 ends with, “Remember me with favor, my God, for all I have done for these people.” Nehemiah worked faithfully.

Esther found herself in what we see as an incredibly odd wife-search for the king. While she had no choice in her circumstance, she did have a choice about how much of her own history she would share. At first, she was ready to remain silent, but Mordecai sent a message admonishing her: For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place and you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not attained royalty for such a time as this? (Esther 4:13-14 (NIV). She hesitated at first, but eventually Esther walked in to face the most powerful man in her world, the king, in order to protect her people. Esther worked bravely.

Moses was working so hard leading the Israelites that he was exhausted. He was pulled in so many directions that he was not doing any of his work very well. In Exodus 18:17-23, God sent his father-in-law to help think through a better way to do his work. Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone … select capable men from all the people … That will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you.” (NIV) We see him start to delegate. Moses worked smarter.

We see David as a young man, facing down a giant with tools that one would not usually consider for such a job, but he used what he knew. Later, we see David shirk his responsibility as king. While his armies are off fighting, he stays home and his idleness draws him into infidelity and a horrible attempt at a cover-up. But as we follow David’s story, we see how he did the work he needed to do as he sought God’s forgiveness.

In Psalm 51, David says: “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love … Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight … Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” David worked broken, but forgiven.

In Zechariah, we see the Israelites rebuilding the temple. “So he said to me, ‘This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty. What are you, mighty mountain? Before Zerubbabel you will become level ground. Then he will bring out the capstone to shouts of ‘God bless it! God bless it!’” Then the word of the Lord came to me: “The hands of Zerubbabel have laid the foundation of this temple; his hands will also complete it. Then you will know that the Lord Almighty has sent me to you. “Who dares despise the day of small things, since the seven eyes of the Lord that range throughout the earth will rejoice when they see the chosen capstone] in the hand of Zerubbabel?” – Zechariah 4:6-10 (NIV)

Zerubbabel was discouraged, but was reminded that God would keep his promises and would finish what he’d started through Zerubbabel. He worked inspired.

God has placed some good kingdom-building work in your heart. What he has laid before you may be completely different than what he laid before your mom, your sister, or the woman next door, but he has opened opportunities to YOU for YOUR work. He did not place us where he has just so we could have some fun and post some pics on Instagram. Every experience, every obstacle, every great opportunity, has been laid out to prepare you for the work he has for you.

How are you working? Would you describe it as determined, faithful, brave, smart, inspired or joyful? Or would you use an equally positive adjective?

A Simple YES

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One evening I found myself on my own for dinner. My husband was working late, so I headed to a local diner. I was looking forward to eating alone. I was going to grab my favorite sandwich, some iced tea, and my book – so I could read while I ate. When I walked into the restaurant, there was only one other customer inside.

I didn’t pay much attention to this older gentleman, until he walked up and asked if he could sit and eat with me. I wanted to say no. My book was really good, and I knew once I got home, I wouldn’t have a chance to sit and read. But saying no felt unkind, and so I said yes.

He sat down across from me, and I was hesitant to jump into conversation, but soon we started chatting. His name was John. He was retired, but had been an engineer – like my husband. His children were grown and living in other cities. John’s wife had been ill, and he retired to be her full-time caregiver, but she died two months before. After her passing, his children had been around for a while, and he still talked to them daily. He was keeping busy because he liked woodworking and fixing lawnmowers and small appliances. But after 45 years of marriage, the thing that was the hardest for him to get used to was eating alone.

For me, eating alone was something I looked forward to. For him, it was a reminder of what he’d so recently lost.

John told me he ate out most nights. Over the last month, almost every time he’d gone out, he asked someone if he could sit and eat with them. I was the first person to say yes. John told me that my willingness to share a meal made his week, and he couldn’t wait to tell his kids about the evening. Before he left, he gave me his phone number. He told me that if I – or anyone in my family – ever needed anything, to just call. He promised to answer and that he would always say yes.

What is your “say yes” story? Maybe you wanted to say no, but you said yes anyway. Maybe you were hesitant, but you kept moving forward. Maybe you still can’t believe you said yes, or maybe you haven’t even acted upon your “yes” yet.

Every time I drive by that restaurant, I am reminded of how a simple yes, that barely cost me anything, brought enough joy to someone that he couldn’t wait to go home and tell his kids about it. This story isn’t earth-shattering; in fact, it meant absolutely nothing to most of the world. But on that Thursday night, in that diner, over a cold sandwich and iced tea – it was significant to John – and to me.

Consider This:
• When has someone else’s “yes” impacted you significantly?
• What is your “say yes” story?

A Prayer for Revival

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A prayer of Habakkuk the prophet. On shigionoth.
Lord, I have heard of your fame;
    I stand in awe of your deeds, Lord.
Repeat them in our day, in our time make them known;
    in wrath remember mercy. Habakkuk 3:1-2 NIV

The prophet Habakkuk’s prayer at the beginning of Habakkuk 3 is a heartfelt prayer for revival. The strange word “shigionoth” indicates that this prayer was originally set to music. At this time, God’s people had forgotten all he had done for them. They were careless in their obedience and distracted by ungodly things all around them. Habakkuk knew the people needed to be reminded and have their commitment rekindled.

Do you ever feel that way?

Habakkuk started by acknowledging the Lord and pointing out God’s deeds. He described himself as being “in awe” of what God had done in the past.  He knew where revival would come from – and that it was not going to come from anything he did. Revival isn’t about what we say or do, even if we are saying good or right things. Revival is about what only God can do. And it begins when the believer stops, recognizes the power of God and stands in awe of God’s work.

Part of Habakkuk’s prayer says, “Repeat them in our day, in our time make them known (NIV).” In the King James Version, it says, “Revive thy work in the midst of the years.” Revival means for something to become popular, active, or important again. The prophet was asking God to show the people his power again, right now, today. He knew how God once worked and how his people once responded, and Habakkuk wanted to see that again. He knew how desperate the people were for God, even if they didn’t see it yet. Not because God had stopped being powerful in the past, but because the people had stopped paying attention. Habakkuk longed for God to do a work that was evident to everyone as a work of God.
In Habakkuk, God had been punishing the Chaldeans and his own people, but Habakkuk prayed God would reveal his mercy, instead of giving the people exactly what they deserved.

God is sovereign, but he is willing to listen to the prayers of his people. He tells us that the prayers of a righteous man avails much (James 5:16), and in 2 Chronicles 7:14, we are told, “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves, and pray and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land (NIV).”

This is a blueprint for how we should pray for revival today. Stop, acknowledge God’s greatness and our need for him, ask him to make himself known to the people, and show his power and mercy.

Carrying a Corner of the Mat

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Some men came carrying a paralyzed man on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus.  When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus.  When Jesus saw their faith, he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”

The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, “Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?”

Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked, “Why are you thinking these things in your hearts? Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So he said to the paralyzed man, “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, “We have seen remarkable things today.” – Luke 5:18-20 (NIV)

“Friend, your sins are forgiven.”

There is tenderness in the way Jesus greeted this paralyzed man who had literally been dropped in front of him. The man was a sinner. That is clear because one of the things Jesus did was forgive his sin. In the Jewish mindset of that day, physical abnormalities and sickness were believed to be the judgment of God for the serious sin of the person or his family.  Most likely the paralytic had been carrying the weight and guilt of that for years.  But, yet, here he was, laying helpless in front of Jesus, the holiest man who ever lived. Jesus looked at him and called him, “Friend.” 

Jesus didn’t ask, “What are you doing here? How did you get here? Don’t you know you interrupted me? What do you want?” Anyone could see that the man was paralyzed. What no one else could see was the condition of the man’s heart. But Jesus started there. The religious leaders in the room immediately took offense – as they tended to do – and said, “Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?” Jesus went on to prove he could heal the man’s visible, physical ailment, but he made it clear that the most important thing, that only he could do, was to free him from sin. He does that for us, too, going right to the root of the problem.

 “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.”

When Jesus said, “Take up your mat,” the man did it. He didn’t spend time telling Jesus all the reasons why he couldn’t. He attempted something that had been impossible before and stood up. Jesus didn’t pick up the man’s mat, or ask his friends to help him out. He told him to pick up his own mat, and he gave him the necessary strength in his arms and his legs to do it.  

He does that for us, too. If he tells us to take a step, he promises to give us all the strength we need to take it. You may be thinking, “I need to confront an issue with my husband or my kids, or I need to go to counseling, or I need to share my faith with this person.” And then you start thinking, “But, but, but, what if…” Let this paralyzed man be your inspiration. Jesus told him what to do, and the man did it – knowing the full power of Jesus was supporting him. 

When Jesus saw their faith…

The wording at the beginning of verse 5 is significant. Jesus saw the faith of the paralyzed man, but he also saw the faith of his four friends.  God honors the faith of those who are willing to carry the weight of another. Some friends would have given up. They would have said, “Maybe next time,” or “We’ll try again next week.”

But these weren’t just any friends. They knew their friend needed Jesus now. They weren’t concerned about the status of the people in the room with him and they weren’t going to let a little crowd or a roof get in their way.

We live in a world where people are hurting – paralyzed by fear, guilt, shame, sin. They need someone to carry them to Jesus, just like someone carried us.

“We have seen remarkable things today.”

The people understood that they had witnessed a miracle. They didn’t get distracted by the mess or the noise or the interruption. They saw the goodness of God played out in front of their very eyes. That man’s story became the story they used to tell their friends and family about the power of Jesus. We’re still using it in that same way today! What remarkable thing is God doing in your life today, and who do you need to tell about it?  

What does it look like today to carry the corner of a friend’s mat?

When Jesus spoke about spiritual things, he looked for common ground on which to relate. If we are creative and willing, like these four friends in our story, we can get through anything to get our friends to Jesus.

In Acts, we see that early Christians got the attention of the world and turned it upside down as they shared Jesus with others.  They lived in difficult circumstances, hard socio-economic times and in an unfriendly political climate (sound familiar?), but they didn’t take that as meaning that it was a bad time to talk about Jesus.

Start with these things:

  • Pray for them.
  • Value them the way Jesus valued them. (Remember, he died for them.)
  • Get to know them and find your common ground. (Even if you don’t agree or understand everything about them.)
  • Answer their questions.
  • Love them in a way that reflects Jesus.
  • Never give up.

We may get tired or frustrated along the way, but God honors the faith of those who bring their friends to the feet Jesus.  

Are you actively engaged right now in carrying a corner of the mat of a hurting friend who needs Jesus?

(Originally published in the MOPS Magazine, February 2023 Leader Issue)

Notice the People in Your Story

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We teach our children to say thank you to someone for a quick favor or a helping hand; but it takes a lot of intention and a little humility to acknowledge those who have truly made a significant difference in our life. 

When I was a young mother, new to leadership, a woman took an interest in me. She whispered helpful hints into my ear, applauded my efforts in front of others and spoke positive words over my children and my marriage. She looked me in the eye and said, “You’re good at this. You made the right choice. You are making a difference.” She drowned out the negative words I would say to myself, generously and graciously heaping valuable time and loving words all around me.

Your life story, like mine, includes characters who have molded your ideas and morals, fostered your mothering style, and inspired your leadership. Who are the people who have spoken into your life? 

  • Who believes in you? Sometimes all you need to keep going is to hear someone say, “You are brave. I know you can do this.”
  • Who inspires you to love or do more? Think about someone whose actions or attitudes make you lean forward and say, “I need more of THAT in my life.” 
  • Who taught you to do something new? Has someone along the way given you a new idea, taught you a skill or helped you understand the world better? 
  • Who has supported you or your family? Whose practical help has provided the foundation you needed to follow your passion? There may be someone who has invested time and energy in your children or husband; or may have helped you carry a load so you could step into something big. 

You have people all around you who have contributed to your life. Make sure they know the impact they’ve had on you.

The Posture of Hospitality

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For a long time, when I heard the word “hospitality,” I thought about all the wrong things. I thought about beautiful table-settings, impressive chef-prepared dinners and the delectable desserts featured in magazines. I imagined elaborate gatherings filled with smiling people and hostesses floating through the room. But, that is not what real hospitality is. I was confusing hospitality with entertaining.  We miss something significant when we equate hospitality with entertaining. We get caught up in our culture’s false definition of hospitality, and we begin to think it is all about dinner invitations and etiquette, clean homes and casseroles, or dazzling displays of flowers and desserts.  

The Greek word for hospitality is philoxenos. Phileo meaning “brotherly love,” and xenos for “strangers.” God’s original design for hospitality is extending ourselves in love to strangers.  It is not just about hosting dinner parties on special occasions with people we know, or hosting a small group with just our friends. We need to be thinking about the person who is not there yet. How can we prepare for her? How can we invite her? How can we welcome her when she is brave enough to come?  

I work with an organization called MOPS – Mothers of Preschoolers. We are committed to creating safe, welcoming spaces for moms. This is what hospitality looks like at MOPS:  We extend an invitation and then greet each woman with a smile that lets her know we have been waiting for her. We get to know her and give her a place where she belongs. We meet her immediate needs and after getting to know her and building trust, we have the opportunity to show her that her greatest need is Jesus – either more of him if she already knows him, or to meet him for the first time. 

Creating a hospitable space doesn’t just happen without some thought and planning. But, as we plan for all the practical pieces, we must embrace a hospitable posture that welcomes the woman we don’t know yet. Consider these questions to get you started:  

  1. What is their first impression? What does each person see, hear, and feel when she walks in? Many will make a decision about whether they will return to your group in the first seven minutes of their time there. They decide based on how they felt when they walked through the door.  
  1. What are their points of connection? If you can make four points of connection with each person that comes through the door, she is more likely to return. Can you connect twice in the first seven minutes, once during the discussion part of your small group and once between meetings? If you can, she is far more likely to return, and invite a friend.  

We still have to consider the “entertainment” elements of the meeting because the table we set for others tells them we’ve planned for them and we’re excited to see them. But the table without your heart of hospitality is useless. Hospitality is about the people at the table. It’s about the conversation and the connections. Let’s not just invite people to the table. Let’s invite them to relationships. If everything we do is rooted in this kind of hospitality, then it will be enough – it will be more than enough. 

Being a Curious Leader

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Leadership experts say that curiosity is one of the most important leadership qualities – its right up there with integrity and vision. Showing genuine curiosity about other people is the best way to strengthen relationships, whether it’s the relationship with your husband, others that live in your house or people in your neighborhood.

We are curious for several reasons:

  • We want to learn more. We like the trivia of life.
  • We want to improve something.
  • We want to connect with other people.

Curious leaders will:

Set aside what they think they know. Every now and then what we think we know gets in the way of our productivity and personal growth. A curious leader sincerely cares about where others have been and what they know. She knows that learning something new may challenge her beliefs or assumptions, and she’s willing to let that happen.

Foster a curious environment. Encourage those around you to ask questions and share their own ideas. Allow others the opportunity to get curious and search for solutions.

Be inwardly curious. Being externally curious makes you a good leader. You spend time focusing on those you serve alongside and the people you are serving together. But it is important to turn your curiosity inward every now and then. Be curious enough to answer a few questions about yourself.

  1. How curious are you? Rate yourself.
  2. Am I making a difference? Not “are you changing the world?” But are your actions, in your home and community, contributing to the betterment of those around you? If not, then you need to become curious about how to make some meaningful changes.
  3. Is my curiosity starting conversations? Is my lack or curiosity shutting them down?

Albert Einstein said, “I have no special talents, I am only passionately curious.” Passionate curiosity fosters collaboration, allows us to see alternatives and be fascinated by all the possibilities.

PODCAST – Evangelism: Shift Your Perspective

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The idea of “evangelism” can be scary to both believers and non-believers. Understanding how non-believers feel about spiritual conversations helps us share the Good News in ways that will draw others in, rather than scare them away. Kelli Jordan and Melodi Leih talk through some trends in today’s culture impacting how people feel about “evangelism.” If we can understand some of the trends, we can face them with truth.

Scripture references:
Matthew 28:19-20; Romans 10:14; Romans 2:3-4

Resources:
If you are a MOPS leader, learn more in our Evangelism Perspective course at training.mops.org.
MOPS International’s YouVersion study on Acts 17: Here and Now.

Sources:
“Reviving Evangelism: Current Realities That 
Demand a New Vision for Sharing Faith”; A Barna Report produced in partnership with Alpha USA, 2019

IF:Lead Conference, “Deconstruction” with John Mark Comer, Joshua Ryan Butler and Jennie Allen, 2021. 

The Best Kind of Leader

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To the world, leadership and servanthood are in direct opposition, but to Christians, servanthood is essential to leadership. Unlike worldly leadership, servanthood is not about title, position or skill. It’s about attitude. People are drawn toward those who serve them. Jesus taught his followers about servanthood.

Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

– John 13:14-17

In John 13, we see an example of how Jesus served those closest to him – and showed them the value of servanthood. Jesus and his disciples were in the upper room for the Passover. At dinners like this, there was usually a servant at the door who washed the feet of those who entered. It was a dirty, but necessary, job. The roads throughout town were dirt and the men wore sandals or walked barefoot, so they needed the chance to wash off the day’s dirt. None of the disciples stepped up to volunteer for the job, instead they started arguing about who was greatest in the kingdom. Jesus talked with them about putting others before themselves and not worrying about being first. After supper, Jesus tied a cloth around his waist, took a basin of water and a towel and began washing his disciples’ feet. He showed them the things he had been trying to teach them.

We can learn a lot from John 13, specifically about leading well. In his article, “21 Laws: Jesus and the Law of Addition,” John Maxwell points out the leadership statements below. Read these statements and then reread John 13:1-17. Write the verse from John 13 that corresponds to each statement below.

  • Servant leaders are motivated by love.
  • Servant leaders possess a security that allows them to serve others.
  • Servant leaders initiate servant leadership.
  • Servant leaders receive servant leadership from others.
  • Servant leaders want nothing to hinder their relationships with God.
  • Servant leaders teach servanthood by their example.
  • Servant leaders live a blessed life.

Jesus is the greatest leader of all time, and he was a servant who challenged those who followed him to
serve others as well. Go back through the statements above. Put a star next to the ones you feel are already part of your leadership style. Now draw an arrow next to the ones you would like to learn more about.

What kind of leader do you want to be? List several specific goals for yourself as you become a servant
leader. (Tip: Start with learning more about what the Bible says regarding the statements you drew an
arrow next to above.)