rhythms

One Another

/ Kelli Jordan / Leave a comment

In Scripture, there is a single Greek word that is translated into our two-word phrase, “one another.” It is allēlōn (a-lay-lone), and it is used to describe people in a relationship with each other.

Throughout Scripture, we see followers of Jesus living and working together. Many are people with nothing else in common other than the fact that they have been transformed by the love and life of Jesus. Taking a closer look at some of the “one another” commands will help us see how God wants us to live in community. Let’s look at five of these allēlōn statements. Read the Scripture listed and consider the following question and statements for each:

  • How can you practically live out the instructions given on your leadership team and in your group?
  • Take a moment to express gratitude for those who have shown you how to live this out in community.
  • Take a moment to privately confess if there is a shortfall in your life in this area.

Love one another. 

  • John 13:34 — A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
  • 1 John 4:12 — No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

Serve One Another.

  • Galatians 5:13 — You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.

Forgive one another. 

  • Ephesians 4:32— Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Honor one another.

  • Romans 12:10 — Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Pray for One Another.

  • James 5:16 — Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

First Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” Let’s be women focused on consistently building each other up — whether through simple words of encouragement, living well in our community or having hard conversations.

Consider This:

  • How can you encourage someone today?

Not a Supermom

/ Kelli Jordan / Leave a comment

Life can sneak up on us, and before we know it,  we are carrying a burden that is far heavier than we are intended to carry. We grab hold of the “supermom” mindset that says I can (and should) be able to carry it all, no matter the weight. In Matthew 11:29-30 (NIV), Jesus said, Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

The thing about a yoke (that wooden crosspiece that is fastened over the necks of two animals and keeps them working together) is that it doesn’t take the burden away completely, but it makes it lighter to carry because the weight is shared. We get weighed down by others’ expectations, our fears and our past mistakes, but when we take on Jesus’ yoke, the weight shifts, and he carries most of it.

We may still be surrounded by the things that weighed us down in the first place. We may still hear the haughty and demeaning voices of the world, but we can shift the weight and understand who we are because of who God is. We’re already loved and loveable. Understanding this changes the way we parent, how we treat ourselves and how we respond to others.

Trading our heavy burden for Jesus’ light one requires some work on our part. It’s not about earning love, because God’s love isn’t based on what we do. Nothing we do can make him love us more or less. But we should put our effort into learning more about Jesus, taking time to monitor the voices we allow to speak into our lives and doing the work to free ourselves from old patterns of thinking or habits that hold us captive. If our goal is perfection and claiming the “supermom” title, then the outcome will always be frustration. We don’t have to be “super” anything because we are God’s beloved children. Children who don’t have to earn or hustle for our worth. Children who just need to shift the weight and find rest.

Let’s stop settling for what simply gets us by and do the work to get to what’s best. Let’s stop trying to carry all the weight alone, because we were never designed to do that. Trying to do things on our own doesn’t make us “super”— it just makes us tired. Take Jesus’ yoke and learn from him; allow his love to change the way you feel and talk about yourself.

Consider this:

  • What is weighing you down?
  • What is your first step toward shifting some of that weight onto Jesus’ shoulders?

Lean In, Listen Well

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There was a time when my kids were very small that I said no to almost everything. It wasn’t purposeful. I didn’t wake up and decide that no was the best default option for us. Looking back, I think I said no because it felt less stressful, more manageable in our busy day and definitely less risky. But at some point, I noticed a friend who always said yes. Now, let me clarify. She didn’t say yes to everything ever asked of her, but when someone (whether a friend, coworker or one of her kids) invited her into something new, you knew she was going to approach it with an open mind. She was intentional about how she spent her time, but you could tell from her tone, attitude and even posture that she was willing to jump in — and she wouldn’t let a possible mess, some discomfort or the fact that she didn’t have any idea what she was doing stop her. So I took some cues from my friend, and I began leaning in when my kids approached me with a question or idea, rather than shaking my head no before the question was even formed. It was a physical adjustment that literally made me more approachable. I started considering what we could do, rather than focusing on what we couldn’t, and I stopped holding us back from things I hadn’t even considered.

Here are a few things I learned from my “Say Yes” friend:

Having a yes mindset makes you a better listener because you’ll listen to the whole idea, not just a little of it. Even if you ultimately say no, you have learned something and thought it through.

Saying yes encourages others to say yes too. When I started leaning in, listening and saying yes more often, I noticed my husband and my kids doing the same thing.

“No” stops the conversation. “Yes” keeps it going. It empowers the one talking and the one listening. The problem with starting at no is that it shuts down the conversation. It shuts down ideas and creativity and even connection. It shuts down the possibilities for us and those around us. But starting with yes is energizing and empowering, whether you end at yes or not.

Having a healthy yes mindset doesn’t mean you feel pressured into agreeing to every little request that comes your way. There are some instances where saying no is the right decision. In those moments, we have to trust our gut. But a yes mindset means you lean in, listen well and trust yourself to make solid decisions and say yes to the things that will benefit you and your family, teach you all something, support your own growth and allow you to have a whole lot of fun.

The Work We Do

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God has called you to something. There is something that moves you, that keeps you up atnight, or that makes you jump off the couch – something that you cannot help but speak up about. You may look at the work and think you can’t possibly do it, but God promises that if you will dive in and get to work, he will make sure you have what you need.

Let’s look at some examples of people doing work they were purposed to do.

Deborah was many things: judge, counselor, mediator, leader, prophetess and song writer. She was not afraid to do the work even when it meant she had to speak honestly to people in power about things they might not like. In Judges 4, Deborah told Barak that God had work for him to do. She pushed him and got him moving, but then she stepped out and let him complete that which was his to complete. Deborah led from a place of reliance on God and people looked to her for guidance because of her faithfulness and grit. Deborah was determined.

Nehemiah was so moved by the disrepair of the wall around his home country that he found funding, support and workers to rebuild it. They faced mockery and physical threats from people who opposed the work, so much so that they had to split the workforce; half would build while half stood guard. Nehemiah 4:6 says, “The people worked with all their heart,” and they kept working until the wall was done, but even then, Nehemiah kept working. Nehemiah 5 ends with, “Remember me with favor, my God, for all I have done for these people.” Nehemiah worked faithfully.

Esther found herself in what we see as an incredibly odd wife-search for the king. While she had no choice in her circumstance, she did have a choice about how much of her own history she would share. At first, she was ready to remain silent, but Mordecai sent a message admonishing her: For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place and you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not attained royalty for such a time as this? (Esther 4:13-14 (NIV). She hesitated at first, but eventually Esther walked in to face the most powerful man in her world, the king, in order to protect her people. Esther worked bravely.

Moses was working so hard leading the Israelites that he was exhausted. He was pulled in so many directions that he was not doing any of his work very well. In Exodus 18:17-23, God sent his father-in-law to help think through a better way to do his work. Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone … select capable men from all the people … That will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you.” (NIV) We see him start to delegate. Moses worked smarter.

We see David as a young man, facing down a giant with tools that one would not usually consider for such a job, but he used what he knew. Later, we see David shirk his responsibility as king. While his armies are off fighting, he stays home and his idleness draws him into infidelity and a horrible attempt at a cover-up. But as we follow David’s story, we see how he did the work he needed to do as he sought God’s forgiveness.

In Psalm 51, David says: “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love … Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight … Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” David worked broken, but forgiven.

In Zechariah, we see the Israelites rebuilding the temple. “So he said to me, ‘This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty. What are you, mighty mountain? Before Zerubbabel you will become level ground. Then he will bring out the capstone to shouts of ‘God bless it! God bless it!’” Then the word of the Lord came to me: “The hands of Zerubbabel have laid the foundation of this temple; his hands will also complete it. Then you will know that the Lord Almighty has sent me to you. “Who dares despise the day of small things, since the seven eyes of the Lord that range throughout the earth will rejoice when they see the chosen capstone] in the hand of Zerubbabel?” – Zechariah 4:6-10 (NIV)

Zerubbabel was discouraged, but was reminded that God would keep his promises and would finish what he’d started through Zerubbabel. He worked inspired.

God has placed some good kingdom-building work in your heart. What he has laid before you may be completely different than what he laid before your mom, your sister, or the woman next door, but he has opened opportunities to YOU for YOUR work. He did not place us where he has just so we could have some fun and post some pics on Instagram. Every experience, every obstacle, every great opportunity, has been laid out to prepare you for the work he has for you.

How are you working? Would you describe it as determined, faithful, brave, smart, inspired or joyful? Or would you use an equally positive adjective?

A Simple YES

/ Kelli Jordan / Leave a comment

One evening I found myself on my own for dinner. My husband was working late, so I headed to a local diner. I was looking forward to eating alone. I was going to grab my favorite sandwich, some iced tea, and my book – so I could read while I ate. When I walked into the restaurant, there was only one other customer inside.

I didn’t pay much attention to this older gentleman, until he walked up and asked if he could sit and eat with me. I wanted to say no. My book was really good, and I knew once I got home, I wouldn’t have a chance to sit and read. But saying no felt unkind, and so I said yes.

He sat down across from me, and I was hesitant to jump into conversation, but soon we started chatting. His name was John. He was retired, but had been an engineer – like my husband. His children were grown and living in other cities. John’s wife had been ill, and he retired to be her full-time caregiver, but she died two months before. After her passing, his children had been around for a while, and he still talked to them daily. He was keeping busy because he liked woodworking and fixing lawnmowers and small appliances. But after 45 years of marriage, the thing that was the hardest for him to get used to was eating alone.

For me, eating alone was something I looked forward to. For him, it was a reminder of what he’d so recently lost.

John told me he ate out most nights. Over the last month, almost every time he’d gone out, he asked someone if he could sit and eat with them. I was the first person to say yes. John told me that my willingness to share a meal made his week, and he couldn’t wait to tell his kids about the evening. Before he left, he gave me his phone number. He told me that if I – or anyone in my family – ever needed anything, to just call. He promised to answer and that he would always say yes.

What is your “say yes” story? Maybe you wanted to say no, but you said yes anyway. Maybe you were hesitant, but you kept moving forward. Maybe you still can’t believe you said yes, or maybe you haven’t even acted upon your “yes” yet.

Every time I drive by that restaurant, I am reminded of how a simple yes, that barely cost me anything, brought enough joy to someone that he couldn’t wait to go home and tell his kids about it. This story isn’t earth-shattering; in fact, it meant absolutely nothing to most of the world. But on that Thursday night, in that diner, over a cold sandwich and iced tea – it was significant to John – and to me.

Consider This:
• When has someone else’s “yes” impacted you significantly?
• What is your “say yes” story?

PODCAST – And Then She Remembered

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While distractions, forgetfulness, and technology dependency might feel like surface-level issues, author and speaker Katie Westenberg asks what is the bigger cost of living a distracted life? Kelli and Katie talk about Katie’s new book, But Then She Remembered: How to Give God Your Full Attention in a Distracted World, where Katie highlights the fight for focus as our attentions are drawn away from what’s important. Katie charges women to pursue a solution: remember.

Find more from Katie at katiewestenberg.com

Carrying a Corner of the Mat

/ Kelli Jordan / 1 Comment

Some men came carrying a paralyzed man on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus.  When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus.  When Jesus saw their faith, he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”

The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, “Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?”

Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked, “Why are you thinking these things in your hearts? Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So he said to the paralyzed man, “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, “We have seen remarkable things today.” – Luke 5:18-20 (NIV)

“Friend, your sins are forgiven.”

There is tenderness in the way Jesus greeted this paralyzed man who had literally been dropped in front of him. The man was a sinner. That is clear because one of the things Jesus did was forgive his sin. In the Jewish mindset of that day, physical abnormalities and sickness were believed to be the judgment of God for the serious sin of the person or his family.  Most likely the paralytic had been carrying the weight and guilt of that for years.  But, yet, here he was, laying helpless in front of Jesus, the holiest man who ever lived. Jesus looked at him and called him, “Friend.” 

Jesus didn’t ask, “What are you doing here? How did you get here? Don’t you know you interrupted me? What do you want?” Anyone could see that the man was paralyzed. What no one else could see was the condition of the man’s heart. But Jesus started there. The religious leaders in the room immediately took offense – as they tended to do – and said, “Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?” Jesus went on to prove he could heal the man’s visible, physical ailment, but he made it clear that the most important thing, that only he could do, was to free him from sin. He does that for us, too, going right to the root of the problem.

 “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.”

When Jesus said, “Take up your mat,” the man did it. He didn’t spend time telling Jesus all the reasons why he couldn’t. He attempted something that had been impossible before and stood up. Jesus didn’t pick up the man’s mat, or ask his friends to help him out. He told him to pick up his own mat, and he gave him the necessary strength in his arms and his legs to do it.  

He does that for us, too. If he tells us to take a step, he promises to give us all the strength we need to take it. You may be thinking, “I need to confront an issue with my husband or my kids, or I need to go to counseling, or I need to share my faith with this person.” And then you start thinking, “But, but, but, what if…” Let this paralyzed man be your inspiration. Jesus told him what to do, and the man did it – knowing the full power of Jesus was supporting him. 

When Jesus saw their faith…

The wording at the beginning of verse 5 is significant. Jesus saw the faith of the paralyzed man, but he also saw the faith of his four friends.  God honors the faith of those who are willing to carry the weight of another. Some friends would have given up. They would have said, “Maybe next time,” or “We’ll try again next week.”

But these weren’t just any friends. They knew their friend needed Jesus now. They weren’t concerned about the status of the people in the room with him and they weren’t going to let a little crowd or a roof get in their way.

We live in a world where people are hurting – paralyzed by fear, guilt, shame, sin. They need someone to carry them to Jesus, just like someone carried us.

“We have seen remarkable things today.”

The people understood that they had witnessed a miracle. They didn’t get distracted by the mess or the noise or the interruption. They saw the goodness of God played out in front of their very eyes. That man’s story became the story they used to tell their friends and family about the power of Jesus. We’re still using it in that same way today! What remarkable thing is God doing in your life today, and who do you need to tell about it?  

What does it look like today to carry the corner of a friend’s mat?

When Jesus spoke about spiritual things, he looked for common ground on which to relate. If we are creative and willing, like these four friends in our story, we can get through anything to get our friends to Jesus.

In Acts, we see that early Christians got the attention of the world and turned it upside down as they shared Jesus with others.  They lived in difficult circumstances, hard socio-economic times and in an unfriendly political climate (sound familiar?), but they didn’t take that as meaning that it was a bad time to talk about Jesus.

Start with these things:

  • Pray for them.
  • Value them the way Jesus valued them. (Remember, he died for them.)
  • Get to know them and find your common ground. (Even if you don’t agree or understand everything about them.)
  • Answer their questions.
  • Love them in a way that reflects Jesus.
  • Never give up.

We may get tired or frustrated along the way, but God honors the faith of those who bring their friends to the feet Jesus.  

Are you actively engaged right now in carrying a corner of the mat of a hurting friend who needs Jesus?

(Originally published in the MOPS Magazine, February 2023 Leader Issue)

PODCAST – Live Unoffended

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Offense obscures our vision. It literally changes what we see. If we can look past the offense, we can see people in new, amazing ways. Kelli Jordan shares some tips for how we can live unoffended, or at least strive to.

(Looking for a speaker to talk about this with your group? This is one of my favorite speaking topics. – Kelli)

Awe and Wonder

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You have seen wonder – you see it in your child. That moment their eyes get wide when they see something they’ve never seen before, the time they hear something new and ask “What’s that noise?” The time they point and whisper, “WOW.”

Several years ago, I was walking into our church on a week day morning. We have a preschool that meets in the building and so there are always children and parents coming in and out, but this was no ordinary preschool day. This was the first day of preschool for the year. In front of me was a little boy who was coming to preschool for the very first time. He had a backpack and was carrying a lunch box and holding his mom’s hand. Then he saw the corner of the playground. The playground is enclosed by concrete columns every 6 feet or so with tall fencing in between. This boy stopped at the first pillar and said, “Wow, mom. I hope I get to play on those swings!” Then he skipped to the next pillar and jumped around to see what was beyond it. He squealed and said, “Oh mom. I hope I get to play in that playhouse.” He tiptoed to the next pillar, peeked around it and just whispered, ‘Oh mom. It’s awesome.” Once we got in the building, he hopped down the ramp to his hallway – painted in bright, playful colors. He put his arms out to his side and said, “Stop. Let’s just look at it.”

Our children are naturally awestruck by things because there are so many new things being introduced every day. But as adults, we often have to look for the wonder-filled moments.

I was studying up on wonder and awe a little bit – which sounds strange, I know. But I found an interesting article by some researchers in California.

First, they said: “People increasingly report feeling time-starved, which exacts a toll on health and well-being.”  Would you agree? Would you define your life as time-starved sometimes?

They found participants in the study who consistently had moments of awe felt “they had more time available, were less impatient, were more willing to volunteer their time to help others and more strongly preferred experiences over material goods.”

As they were studying awe, they found it hard to generalize what causes awe, but they did narrow it down to four categories:

  1. Travel (new places)
  2. Staring at the cosmos
  3. Sensational film (This is different for everyone, but it’s about immersing yourself in another’s experiences.)
  4. Things in massive quantities (like a field of tulips, a school of fish, or a mass people).  

This is how they wrapped up their study:

People mostly walk around with a sense of knowing what is going on in the world. They have hypotheses about the way people behave and what might happen. We are always walking around trying to confirm the things we already think. When you are in a state of awe, it puts you off balance and, therefore, you become ready to learn new things

As adults, we think off-balance is always bad.  Because of that, we often chose to live in the mundane. Because of that, sometimes we just plain miss the wonder of it all. Small doses of awe in the everyday boosts life satisfaction. It helps us focus us on our present moment.

So how do we try not to miss the wonder in our every day?

This is what we can learn from the sweet little boy on his way to preschool:

  • We should always anticipate what is around the corner. And I mean “anticipate” in the excited, just can’t way to see it kind of way.
  • Take a minute to absorb what is right in front of you before you head to the next corner.
  • Do new things every now and then that just make you want to whisper, “Wow.” Set aside what you think you know so you can experience something new.  Allow yourself to be curious. As we get older, we tend to learn with purpose rather than just learn for fun or wonder.
  • Lastly, this boy’s mom was amazing. She didn’t rush him. She just walked with him and agreed. “That would be so fun. I hope so too!”  “If not today, then maybe another day!”

Start to face everyday life with wonder – What don’t I know? What can I learn? What can I see? Allow a little bit of un-balance in your day.

Love is not Arrogant or Rude

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The words arrogance, proud or haughty are mentioned over 200 times in Scripture. Proverbs 16:5 tells us God detests those who are arrogant and have a haughty heart. In Proverbs 6:16-19, the first thing in the list of seven things the Bible tells us God hates are haughty eyes (NIV). Second Timothy 3:2 tells us to have nothing to do with people who are lovers of themselves (NIV). First Peter 5:5 sums up how God feels about the arrogant attitude: God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (ESV).

The opposite of arrogance is humility, and Jesus is the only perfect example of what humility looks like. His life began and ended with extraordinary humility. He came into the world in the most humble way, leaving everything He had. Then He died in a gruesome manner, having done nothing wrong. He could have stopped it all—He could have called the angels and come down off the cross, but He didn’t. Philippians 2:6-8 describes how Jesus didn’t use the fact that He was God to His advantage—instead, He humbled Himself and took on human likeness. He came as a servant and was like us in every way, obedient to death, even to death on the cross. All because He loves us.

But it wasn’t just the beginning and end of His time on earth that displayed humility, it was every action and interaction with people throughout His life. Jesus did not needlessly offend others. He was aware of and sensitive to His audience, all while speaking the truth. He treated every person with respect, and He communicated in ways they could understand. This is why He spoke in parables. When He was talking to people who understood vineyards, He talked about being the vine while we are the branches (John 15:1-8). He talked about sowing seeds in fertile soil rather than throwing them into rocks with those who understood sowing and reaping (Matthew 13:1-23). He described Himself as the Good Shepherd to those who knew how important the care of a shepherd is in the life of the sheep (John 10:11-18). He washed the disciples’ feet when everyone watching knew that was usually a task for the servant (John 13:14). He lovingly introduced new concepts and new philosophies to those around Him, challenging what they’d believed before and pushing them to live differently. As followers of Jesus, our actions should imitate His.

Consider this:

What is my attitude toward others? Am I sensitive to others’ feelings, and do I talk to them in ways they can hear and understand? Am I imitating Christ in how I interact with all those around me?

This is Day Five of the 14 day “Attributes of Love” YouVersion study. Download it and start studying today!